The Lotus
Lotus, every culture and religion has different
perspective in giving meaning to lotus. Lotus is a symbol of purity, beauty,
and eternity. Purity because the colorstill clean even it grows in the middle
of mud . It also symbol of beauty as we can see how beautiful it is, we can deny
it. And eternity, the flower reborn, close in every night and open in the
morning, so some people agree is a symbol of rebirth .
For me, I don’t have any idea about this since I got
this picture from my friend’s photo collection in her facebook without any
permission. XD, Actually I told her, but she haven’t replied my comment, after I finished painting. What I love about
this picture it showed a beautiful lotus, only a lotus in picture . The focus of
the flower was so perfect. That’s all.
Related to the picture, honestly to be a focus one it’s
difficult for me recently. Since I had
graduated in 2013, I had to find new job , or find scholarship, etc. I’d really like to find scholarship, but the
demand at that time forced me to find a job first. My parents really wanted me to work in goverment ministry , while at that the same
time, I had to apply to a lot of private
company, and school. I had to review my CV, made a lot of application letter ,
prepared for the document for government ministry application, and at the same
time, I had to prepare document to go to Australia. My sister’s family moved to
Australia, and there was a chance that she can bring another families member to
go to Australia too. She asked me. She thought if I come with her, it easier
for me to continue my study. I thought it was a great chance too , I accepted
that order. but , it took a long time, more than 3 months to know the
announcement. I was so in suspense at that time waiting for the announcement
whether I could go or not until finally I got a job at an international school
that I really wanted, Intercultural School of Bogor. So I accepted that job without thinking twice.
I also considered and remembered a possibility that I had to go to Australia,
but what I need at that time was to have a job. So, I started job there, I loved
my job until finally my sister told me the announcement that I could go to
Australia. But my parents said that its better I stayed in Indonesia and had
things to do, than I go to another country without any job. So I decided to
live here.
It have been a year since that moment, and now, I can’t
deny to myself that I really want to continue my master degree program in
Aussie. The desire always come to my mind, but I don’t know why it was
difficult for me to take any action to pursue my dream. I just ignore it. There
are a lot of things to do, running and painting. I joined the community of
running and painting since I broke up with my ex-boyfriend last year. By joined
the community, it helped me to move on, and I even get more friends. That’s why
I enjoyed it a lot.
Since my sister’s
family moved to Australia, my parents felt lonely. Sometimes I felt so guilty
with them that I was so busy in the weekend, seldom to stay at home and go with
my friend. My mom often complained about it, I tried to explained to her, and
she understand it sometimes. I know my mom was felt lonely, she missed my
nephew so much. Because of the reason she often asked me to find a new one and
get married. Not only me, but also my brother.
I don’t know how to say, it doesn’t mean that I don’t want to married ,
but I want her to know it just need process . It’s not such kind you get fruit
which drop from the tree, right? On the other hand, I really want to continue
my study, I think it’s the best way for me to change my life to have a better
future. My mom understand that condition, she said it’s up to me whether I continue
my study first or married first. But its not easy things to do for me. That two
words, to continue my study and married, scared me so much in this stage. Wish God
always help me to find the way to achieve them. Please, God make it easier .
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