Minggu, 18 Oktober 2015

#Inktober Day 15

Diposting oleh emiria farahdina di 02.28
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The Lotus

Lotus, every culture and religion has different perspective in giving meaning to lotus. Lotus is a symbol of purity, beauty, and eternity. Purity because the colorstill clean even it grows in the middle of mud. It also symbol of beauty as we can see how beautiful it is, we can deny it. And eternity, the flower reborn, close in every night and open in the morning, so some people agree is a symbol of rebirth .

For me, I don’t have any idea about this since I got this picture from my friend’s photo collection in her facebook without any permission. XD, Actually I told her, but she haven’t replied my comment,  after I finished painting. What I love about this picture it showed a beautiful lotus, only a lotus in picture. The focus of the flower was so perfect. That’s all.

Related to the picture, honestly to be a focus one it’s difficult for me recently. Since I had  graduated in 2013, I had to find new job, or find scholarship, etc.  I’d really like to find scholarship, but the demand at that time forced me to find a job first.  My parents really wanted me to work in  goverment ministry, while at that the same time, I had to  apply to a lot of private company, and school. I had to review my CV, made a lot of application letter, prepared for the document for government ministry application, and at the same time, I had to prepare document to go to Australia. My sister’s family moved to Australia, and there was a chance that she can bring another families member to go to Australia too. She asked me. She thought if I come with her, it easier for me to continue my study. I thought it was a great chance too, I accepted that order. but, it took a long time, more than 3 months to know the announcement. I was so in suspense at that time waiting for the announcement whether I could go or not until finally I got a job at an international school that I really wanted, Intercultural School of Bogor.  So I accepted that job without thinking twice. I also considered and remembered a possibility that I had to go to Australia, but what I need at that time was to have a job. So, I started job there, I loved my job until finally my sister told me the announcement that I could go to Australia. But my parents said that its better I stayed in Indonesia and had things to do, than I go to another country without any job. So I decided to live here.

It have been a year since that moment, and now, I can’t deny to myself that I really want to continue my master degree program in Aussie. The desire always come to my mind, but I don’t know why it was difficult for me to take any action to pursue my dream. I just ignore it. There are a lot of things to do, running and painting. I joined the community of running and painting since I broke up with my ex-boyfriend last year. By joined the community, it helped me to move on, and I even get more friends. That’s why I enjoyed it a lot.

Since my sister’s family moved to Australia, my parents felt lonely. Sometimes I felt so guilty with them that I was so busy in the weekend, seldom to stay at home and go with my friend. My mom often complained about it, I tried to explained to her, and she understand it sometimes. I know my mom was felt lonely, she missed my nephew so much. Because of the reason she often asked me to find a new one and get married. Not only me, but also my brother.  I don’t know how to say, it doesn’t mean that I don’t want to married, but I want her to know it just need process. It’s not such kind you get fruit which drop from the tree, right? On the other hand, I really want to continue my study, I think it’s the best way for me to change my life to have a better future. My mom understand that condition, she said it’s up to me whether I continue my study first or married first. But its not easy things to do for me. That two words, to continue my study and married, scared me so much in this stage. Wish God always help me to find the way to achieve them. Please, God make it easier .

Oke, related to my goal, now I realize that I have to do a lot of activities which support me to pursue my goal, so it was difficult for me to focus and pick more important priority. So, I realize that I need to be more focus, since now I have to do activity which can help me to pursue my dream . I need to sacrifice the other activity which not related to my goal, even I really like them very much. I have to be focus, I really want to continue my study. I pray the best for my future and for anything such love stuff, I always pray the best for them. Wish God always find me the way to achieve it.

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